BPD Relationships Aren't Perfect
I know there's a lot out there about how devastating BPD or borderline personality disorder relationships can be. They're actually support groups for people trying to leave these relationships because their partner is obsessed with them or threatening suicide. Although these are extreme cases, I'm glad that I'm in a relationship that is stable enough to last.
I don't want to be mad, but I love you so damn much!
Sometimes it's hard for me to express my emotions or get my thoughts across and they come out as anger. The frustration can land on the people I love, especially Cris. I have to go back and apologize each time I hurt him because I didn't know how to express myself correctly. There have been times he has got angry with me over things I thought were trivial, yet he does not have BPD. This especially happens on long car rides and any couple knows those are breeding grounds for disagreements. But that's what a relationship is -- they're made of interactions with our partners that are positive and negative, but we must remember that love is why we are together.
He loves me, I love him.
I use to question a lot if I would end up alone or if I should be alone because I would only hurt the people I love. But I have enough love to give and to build on a foundation that will take me well into the future. To anyone that has BPD but feels they will be alone, do not fret! All it takes is a patient, loving, imperfect person and you are on your way! Everyone's personality is different and we must find ways to live with each other in harmony and happiness. If someone has told you that you are too hard to love or they don't understand how someone will ever love you, then you probably don't need to be with that person.
This ain't a walk in the park.
Remember you deserve to be loved. You deserve to have a healthy relationship. And you can do that once you understand yourself through therapy and your partner understands you to the best of their ability, do their own research and support groups to help those in relationships with someone with BPD. You are not meant to be a hermit! Everyone is looking for love and it is out there. Please don't give up!
Look for Episode 7 this Wednesday on Loving someone with BPD to find out more!